Domestic Violence ToolKit
· Rehearse your plan and teach your children what they should do if violence occurs.
· Be aware of any changes in your partner’s behavior that indicates a build up to a violent incident.
· Protect yourself and your children by NEVER telling your safety plan to the person who is abusing you.
· Tell your children not to tell the abuser about the plan.
· Prepare yourself and your children as far in advance as possible.
· Be aware that most significant injuries and homicides occur when people leave or attempt to leave abusive or violent relationships.
· If you decide to leave, remember that leaving is a process, and there are many things you can do prior to leaving to increase your safety and the safety of your children.
· Birth and Marriage certificates
· Vaccination and Medical records
· School records
· Social Security numbers
· Car titles
· Recent credit reports
· Recent photos
· Prescriptions
· Information on individual or joint accounts
· Bank books
· Social Security number
· Date of birth
· Pay stubs
· Addresses of family/friends
· Car information (tag number, make, model & color)
· Driver’s License Number
· Criminal history/documents
· Bank accounts
· Work information
· Current and complete address
· Any money you have
· Address book
· Small toys for children
· Small objects of value
· Clothing
· Change the locks and get an unlisted number.
· Change usual routes and times of travel to work and to run errands.
· Keep a copy of the protective order with you at all times. Give a copy to your employer, neighbors, schools, daycare, etc.
· Get a dog or some other form of security system. Talk to a trusted advocate or friend about the abuse.
· Find a support group to attend (to build a support base for your- self) with others who have gone through situations similar to yours.
· Obtain counseling for your children.
· Alert your office of your situation and have your calls screened if possible.
· Call the police to enforce the protective order.
· Keep a diary or log of all contacts with you by your abuser, directly and indirectly (mail, phone, friends, deliveries, etc.) to report them to police.
· If you or a witness is threatened by your abuser report the threat to the police immediately.
· If violence occurs, avoid kitchens and bathrooms as they contain many items that can be used as weapons.
· If violence occurs, make yourself a small target; dive into a corner and curl up into a ball, with your face protected and your arms around each side of your head.
· If violence occurs, do not run to where your children are as they may also get injured.
· If possible, have a phone accessible at all times. Don’t be afraid to call the police.
· Teach your children how to get help. Instruct them not to get involved in the violence. Practice with them.
· Come up with a code word with the children so they will know when to get help.
· Let trusted friends and neighbors know of your situation and develop a plan with them when you need help. Tell neighbors to call the police if they hear suspicious noises.
· Tell your children that violence is never right. Tell them that neither you nor they are responsible.
· Keep your car fueled and have an extra set of car keys.
· Use your judgment and intuition. If the situation is serious, give your partner what he wants to calm him down. Protect yourself until you are out of danger.
· If you are injured, get medical attention and tell your healthcare provider the true cause of your injuries for accurate documentation. Take pictures and keep them in a safe place.
· Keep a diary or log of every incident. Keep it safe
Protection Orders
PREPARING TO LEAVE SAFELY
EX PARTE PROTECTIVE ORDERS AND STANDARD ORDERS OF PROTECTION
EX PARTE PROTECTIVE ORDERS AND STANDARD ORDERS OF PROTECTION
· Decide where you will go if you need to leave your home. Pick several places where you know you will be safe.
· Find out about local laws and what resources are available to you before you need them in a crisis.
· Acquire job skills if possible. Begin to stash cash in a safe place.
· Keep change for phone calls as well as money for cabs or bus fare.
· Memorize important phone numbers.
· Keep a bag packed with clothes for you and the children. Keep the bag where it is not likely to be discovered.
· Gather as many important papers as you can and place them in a safe place outside of the home.
· Create a false trail. Call motels, real estate agencies and schools in a town or towns at least six hours away where you want your partner to believe you will relocate. Ask questions that will require a call back to your house to leave phone numbers on record.
· Create good reasons for leaving the house at different times of the day and night.
· Back the car into the driveway. Keep the driver’s door unlocked for a quick escape. But Keep your valuable and personal information inside your home.
· Open a savings account in your name only. Review your safety plan every few weeks.
· Identify public places that are open 24 hours a day where you can go to call for help.
EX PARTE PROTECTIVE ORDERS AND STANDARD ORDERS OF PROTECTION
EX PARTE PROTECTIVE ORDERS AND STANDARD ORDERS OF PROTECTION
EX PARTE PROTECTIVE ORDERS AND STANDARD ORDERS OF PROTECTION
An Ex Parte Order of Protection is sought by the Petitioner when he or she is seeking immediate relief. The victim petitions the court, and the court will grant an Ex Parte Order if good cause is shown. An immediate and present danger of abuse to the Petitioner constitutes good cause. Considerations for a showing of good cause may include the Petitioner’s injuries and fear of retaliation, as well as the Respondent’s history of violence, pattern of conduct, access to weapons, criminal history, proclivity to drink and do drugs, history of mental illness, and threats and attacks against the petitioner.
If granted, Ex Parte Orders of Protection only last fifteen (15) days after the Respondent has been served with the order. Within that 15-day period, a hearing must be held to determine if a Temporary Order of Protection will be granted. The Respondent will be served at least five (5) days prior to that hearing. At the conclusion of the hearing, if the Petitioner has proven the allegation(s) of domestic abuse, stalking or sexual assault by a preponderance of the evidence, the court will issue a Temporary Order of Protection for a definite period of time, not to exceed one (1) year. If the petitioner has not proven the allegation(s) of domestic abuse, stalking, or sexual assault by a preponderance of the evidence, the court will dissolve the Ex Parte Order of Protection.
Please note that an ex parte order of protection is not the same as a restraining order in Tennessee. The ex parte order of protection allows the police to make an immediate arrest when the order is violated if the person who is abusing you knows about the order.
The types of protections included in an Ex Parte Order of
Protection may include, but are not limited to:
Directing the Respondent to refrain from committing domestic abuse, stalking, or sexual assault, or threatening to commit domestic abuse, stalking, or sexual assault, against the Petitioner or the Petitioner’s minor children;
Prohibiting the Respondent from coming about the Petitioner for any purpose, from telephoning, contacting, or otherwise communicating with the Petitioner, directly or indirectly;
Prohibiting the Respondent from stalking the Petitioner;
Directing the care, custody, or control of any animal owned, possessed, leased, kept, or held by either party or a minor residing in the household;
Directing the Respondent to immediately and temporarily
vacate a residence shared with the Petitioner, pending the outcome of hearing for the Temporary Order;
Directing the Respondent to pay the Petitioner all costs, expenses, and fees pertaining to the Petitioner’s breach of a lease or rental agreement for residential property if the Petitioner is a party to the lease or rental agreement and if the court finds that continuing to reside in the rented or
leased premises may jeopardize the life, health, and safety of the petitioner or the petitioner’s children; and
Ordering a wireless service provider to transfer the billing responsibility for and rights to the wireless telephone number or numbers to a Petitioner.